01. Thank you, Grover!
As some of us expected, the Joint Select Committee on Deficit Reform failed to come up with an agreement to reduce $1.2 trillion in Government spending. As an Independent, I am free to say anything at all about the two parties.. and it is clear as a bell to me that the Republican Party's unwillingness to compromise on money issues is killing our Country. The people who are most able to contribute monetarily to government coffers are not paying their fair share, while the rest of us poor slobs slowly lose our savings.
Today, I found out that an IRA of mine matured automatically for the astronomically powerful rate of .0069% and the teller told me that if the maturity had waited until today, it would have been even lower. I guess I should be happy that these low rates ensure that we will not have inflation.
02. Putty Putty!
Great news! Do any of you ladies have a flat butt? Well, if so, there is a person in the Miami area who will fill your buttocks with cement, mineral oil and flat-tire sealant. And it will only cost $700!
03. OOPS!
Tom Zirpoli writes a column in the Westminster, Maryland Carroll County Times newspaper. Today, he mentioned how one of the GOP candidates told a PBS interviewer that the U.S. should take steps to keep China from becoming a nuclear power. (China "got the bomb" in 1964.)
04. You go, girl!
A fed-up senior citizen who had waited two hours for an interview with a communications representative, (only to find that he had sneaked out the back door to avoid her).. went home and came back with a hammer and proceded to destroy the office. She had come in to complain that her new expensive phone service did not work and nobody in the company was listening.
She received a fine and a restraining order... and, I'll bet, a feeling of satisfaction.
05. Shop til you croak!
On the Diane Rehm show today, a large panel of shopping experts and authors talked about the Black Friday phenomena and its impact on our country. Some stores have moved Black Friday up to Thanksgiving evening at 8PM. Many feel that this will destroy the Thanksgiving holiday.
My feeling about this is that some people love to shop. Let them! Also, some folks lead kind of dull lives and like the excitement of shopping at 3AM for super bargains.. or at least for "loss leaders".. you realize, of course, that this is all designed to get you into the store where you will buy a lot of other stuff you may not need. This is good for business and our economy.
Some people also believe that some kind of Aztec calendar predicts the demise of the Earth in 2012.. so they may as well chalk up all the debt they can on their Visa cards, since they will not have to pay up when they are dead.
06. Does a flush beat a full-house?
World Toilet Day took place on November 19, 2011. Hardly anyone in the US noticed. However, around the world the toilet situation is very important. Out of the 8 billion humans on our planet, almost 3 billion do not have any kind of toilet facility. Try to imagine what life is like in the slums of certain cities with millions of inhabitants.. where the streets run with excrement. "Gardez l'eau!"
07. Adopt a Platoon!
Frances Kane, a concerned grandparent of a U.S. Ranger stationed in Afghanistan, has institued a program whereby donations of goods are collected in the Carroll County area and mailed to platoons in war zones, where certain everyday goods are not readily available. These goods are passed to soldiers who use them for personal necessity, and some is given by the soldiers to Afghan children for goodwill.
The biggest personal need is.. guess what... wet wipes.. Toilet paper is in short supply or not existent in Afghanistan and the soldiers love to get the little packages of wipes that they can easily carry in their backpacks.
08. While we are still on the subject of toilets..
The Japanese are marketing facilities that combine the functions of a toilet and a bidet. Perhaps this obviates the necessity for toilet paper. We'll see.
Did you know that the word bidet comes from the Old French word for "to trot".. and that somehow relates to how you are supposed to straddle a bidet. Oh.. you didn't know about bidets... sorry.. why don't you visit the following site:
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Bidet
My hour is up.. I hope I haven't shocked anyone's sensibilities. All of this reminds me of what an engineer once said about the human body:
"How come the Master Engineer decided to locate a place of intense pleasure right next to a waste disposal system?"
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