October 2, 2011

Another cold rainy day in Maryland. Lots of little sparrows chewing at the seeds of the purple flowers outside of our windows.  I wonder why they are doing that instead of eating the bird seed I provide in three (count 'em) feeders.   I guess purple flower seeds are tastier.

Here is the main headline in our local newspaper for today:

RAINS CAUSE SURGE IN FUNGI

While we wait for Governor Christie to decide whether he is going to get into the Presidential race, I will purge my mouse pad of remaining notes.

1.  Postal Service?

We are waiting to learn if we will have 5-day mail service.  Meanwhile, Germany has privatized their Postal Service.. and this has been followed by a first-class stamp increase to what would be for us: 68 cents.  Be prepared.

2.  Handy Andy

I just learned that the first TV work by the now retiring Andy Rooney was titled:  An Essay on Doors.

3.  Gas attacks? Gas, a tax.

DC papers report an exploding toilet.  No details available as yet.   Meanwhile, even as we speak, the WAMU Cojo Show is having a debate over whether a rise in the Federal Gas Tax is needed.  Most of the local bridges were constructed around 50 years ago and that is the average lifespan for a roadspan.  Right now, 40 to 50 cents of each gallon of gas we buy goes to State or Federal Highway Funds.

Elaine says that there is a fantastic solution to all kinds of money problems in the DC and Baltimore areas.. just make the Baltimore and Washington Beltways toll roads, in the manner that some North-South Highway Toll Booths are set up.  When you get off, drop a quarter in the pot.  Millions of cars use these beltways each day. 

4.  Whew! Or as we used to say: P U!

XM Radio has a Doctors Channel.. where people can call in and have their questions answered by Doctors who are experts in their fields.  Yesterday, a Doctor who has spent 20 years studying body odor was on call.  I could not believe the different types of odor problems that people can have.

One youngster has had bad breath since she was a baby.  The problem may be that certain bacteria are living a good life on the back of her tongue.  They need to be dislodged from their happy home.  This is usually a hereditary condition passed on from family member to family member.. in this case, the grandmother, who has always had fetid breath liked to kiss her granddaughter quite a bit when she was a new-born, and in that way, probably shared those bacteria.

Armpit smell is also probably caused by a specific set of bacteria.  I think the Doctor said it is curable.

Meanwhile, check out an amazing article on the billions of bacteria that live upon and inside of us.  The article is in an equally amazing new magazine:  ID (Ideas and Discoveries) dated October 2011.  A newer issuance of the magazine comes out on October 12, 2011.

5. New Laws in Maryland

Effective on October 1st, 2011:

a.  No READING of text messages in a car, whether driving or stopped at a light.  Sending is already outlawed.

b.  Fortune tellers can now legally receive money for telling fortunes.

c.  No funeral protests can be staged within 500 feet of the place where the funeral is taking place. !!

d.  Carroll County Commissioners can serve for 4 years, followed by another 4 years, if reelected.

6.  Good news for retired Presidents!

You don't have to be dead now, to be honored on a US stamp!

...............................................................................

September 27, 2011

I'm running late.  Got to get to the Social Security Alumni office in a little while for a Board meeting, so this hour will have to be a lot shorter than 60 minutes.  Wow!  What power.. to be able to change time.

1.  Money... again!

Another monetary crisis may have been averted by Congress approving a "compromise"  continuing resolution.  This puts the "body" of the Government back to life, at least until November.. when we have to go through this disgusting process once again.  It's a shame we can't update next year's elections to this year and get rid of some of these congressional "clowns" right now. (In my humble opinion.)

2.  The Birthplace of Democracy

The government of Greece will be trying to enforce a new property tax on its citizens, to try to get the country back to solvency.  Officials say that enforcement will indeed be "trying".. because  85% of the Greeks have their savings invested in their homes.. not in banks or 401 set ups, and they will probably find some very innovative ways to protect their investments, and avoid the tax. Greeks are very clever.. remember Ulysses in the Odyssey?


3.  Top Banana?

In a letter today to the Carroll County Times (Westminster, Maryland), Dave Owings suggested that we create jobs by building greenhouses in Michigan where we can grow acres of bananas; thereby taking over the place now held by Big Banana.  He also hints that this might even put buggy whip makers back to work.

As you can tell, we have another Voltaire in our midst.  Instead of bananas, I would suggest pasta plants.  Just think about how many people like spaghetti.  Why should Italy get  all the money for growing pasta plants?  Give the good old USA some of that action! 

4.  A fun job?

Today, in DC, tourists will be able to see guys rappelling down the sides of the Washington Monument.  They will be looking for cracks caused by the recent earthquake.. and having one hell of a good time while doing so.

5.  Get your TV program here!

Our local newspaper, mentioned above, will begin charging fifty cents a week  for a TV guide to be delivered with the newspaper.  I like our local paper very much, but I think that $26 a year  for a weekly TV guide is a bit steep.. especially when you can get a subscription to a publication called TV Guide for a lot less than that.  I wonder if it will work out for them.  Time will tell.. (or Newsweek or somesuch).


6.  Neither rain nor snow... but $

Postmaster General Patrick Donahue is (even as we speak, or write) on the Diane Rhem Show, discussing things that may happen to the US Postal Service:

The closing of 250 post offices.

The laying off of 35,000 postal  workers.

The discontinuance of Saturday mail delivery.

Are we (the American public) going to stand for this? 

7.  Good News and Bad News

Good:  The stock market is starting to rally again.

Bad: A typhoon has hit the Philipines and millions are being evacuated.

............................................................

My short hour is up.  See ya!

.............................................................

September 24, 2011

Listening, watching and hearing lots of news this morning about "Break ups", I thought that this would make a good theme for today's blog entry.

1.  Breaking up is....

One of my famorite Carpenters song is "Breaking Up is Hard to Do"..  when my kids (and I) were very young, we would lay on the carpet in front of the massive stereo set  after supper and listen to our favorite Carpenters long-play album.  You ask:  "Who the hell are the Carpenters?"  Check Wikipedia, young person!

2.  A Satellite is breaking up.

On the news today, I learned that parts of the falling NASA satellite could either be in the Pacific Ocean, Canada, North Africa, or the Atlantic Ocean.   Stay tuned.

3.  REM is breaking up.

I ask:  "Who the hell is/are REM?"  Something to do with sleeping?  Check Wikipedia, Joe!

4.  Aaron is breaking up.

Aaron Sorkin (West Wing) recently head-butted himself in a mirror and broke his nose.

5.  Arizona heat wave is breaking up

Today, the residents of Tucson were enjoying a break from the current heat wave.  I'm told that the temperature is  now down to 96.

6.  The United States Postal SERVICE is breaking up

I hear that the House has already passed a bill to cut Saturday mail delivery.

7.  NETFLIX is breaking up

With the separation of DVD and streaming movie services.. QUIXTER has been born.  However, the name Quixter is already being used by a guy named Jason, who describes himself on TWITTER as a "girl-loving dopester."

8.  No child left behind is breaking up.

President Obama is now going to allow States to opt out of the No Child Left Behind program.  Virginia is probably first in line.

Lastly:

9.  Fat cells may be breaking the bank soon.. 

A "fat bank" has been established in Orlando, Florida as a place to store the fat that you have had liposuctioned off of your body... because, you may want to have it back sometime.. in surgery?  To get fuller lips?  To cover up wrinkles? To make your sunken cheeks come back to life? To round out your sorry aging butt?  How about you, Santa?  Joe?

(Remember the WWII ad:  "Ladies, take your fat can down to your butchers."  Fat was needed in the 1940's to grease artilliary, and civilians were encouraged to keep a can ready in the kitchen to hold used lard, and fat like that.)

....................................

My hour is up.. and I'm starting to break up.. so I am signing off.  See ya!

.....................................................................