Let's see if I can keep this "one hour" stuff going. Today, I will do something different. Elaine and I went on a bus trip to Chesapeake City for lunch. Along the way, I saw some signs that interested me. I want to share them with you.
1. Felix the Cat
On a telephone pole near Westminster was a square white sign with the following words only: Felix the Cat. I don't have the faintest idea as to why it is there, but it reminds me of when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I loved the Felix the Cat cartoon strip and I wished that I was rich enough to spend ten cents to buy the Felix the Cat comic book.
Marcia, the little girl I liked who lived across the street, using all of her inborn feminine wiles, told me that if I would take her mother's note to the store and get the things that her mother needed, she would give me a copy of the comic book I so desired. All excited, I took the note to the store, gave it to the clerk, and he gave me Kotex, lip stick and such items, and a note to give back to Marcia's mother (probably telling her to hurry and pay her bill).
My anticipation overruled my embarassment, and I gave everything to Marcia, and waited for my Felix the Cat comic book. Marcia laughed, went home, and left me empty-handed and probably tearful.
Not being a quick learner, this scenario played out a few more times until I learned a great lesson... at least with Marcia.. but of course, I promptly forgot the lesson when I received other promises from pretty females.
http://felixthecat.com/
2. Sooner or Later
A billboard along the roadway said: "The Future is Sooner Than You Think!"
What on earth does that mean? What on the moon does that mean? Every second we enter the future, which then suddenly becomes the present, and a second later, the past.
3. Podiatrist?
Another billboard sign said: "Relax, it's feet first."
I assume this is an ad for a podiatrist... maybe not.. maybe it's an ad for a swimming pool, because that is the way I enter a pool. I test the water with my big toe first.. doesn't everyone.
However, many many years ago, some of us guys froze our big toes by going swimming in Buzzard's Bay (Massachusetts) every Easter. Were we crazy? Sometimes the ambient temperature was close to freezing. (Wait a minute.. is this true? Or did I dream this..?)
4. Computer ad?
The billboard sign read: "Talk, Surf, Play, Listen"
I assume this is an ad for Internet access. Or, it's an ad for Hawaii, or Ocean City, Maryland.
Talk to the local natives.
Surf in the ocean.
Play in the sand.
Listen to the waves.
I like signs like this. I can read the big letters from a distance, but I can't see the little letters, so I have to use my imagination to figure out what the words are trying to convey.
5. Who is this guy?
Almost every truck that passed our bus had the following name stenciled on the back:
MAX GROSS
I can't believe that this is the Max Gross I went to High School with.. he could not possibly have amounted to anything... the last I heard, he had tatooed his head with all kinds of racist epithets. Surely, he is in jail right now... however, I just read about a guy who was a big shot Skinhead for twenty years, "saw the light" and had all of his ugly tatoos laser-whipped off his body. Maybe that happened to Max and he was able to go into his Uncle's trucking business.
6. This gets my goat!
One ad I saw by the side of the road said: "Boer goats for sale."
I had never heard of Boer goats before. Now I know that these were goats bred for meat by the Boers (farmers) in South Africa, beginning around 1900. Visit this location to learn all you need to know about this breed.. don't let the Afrikaans words scare you.. the main information is in English.
http://www.boergoats.co.za/
7. Other signs that intrigued me
o Popeyes: "We have naked strips."
o McDonalds: "Ever fit a pineapple thru a straw?"
o Some beer company: "Catch the camo can."
I assume this is a camouflage colored can.. ??
Or, it is a can for Camo Black Ice beer (American Malt Liquors, Las Vegas, NV)
o Dentist Office sign: All Smiles Dental Care
8. Signs that Beckon
These two signs invite you to visit two neat places in Havre de Grace, Maryland.. they sound intriguing to me, and I will visit the businesses mentioned. Their ads worked.
Bahoukas Beer Museum
Haxel Flagpole Warehouse
I'm not sure, but one of them may be on Red Toad Road, and the other on Bullfrog Lane.
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OK, my hour is up. See you next time, I hope.
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